Coming Soon…

Nope, not dead yet.

Just offering some preliminary invective against everyone who told me I couldn’t do it, anyone who was too stupid to realize what my difficulty was, and any other doom-n-gloom bitches.

I will post full after-action review and, knowing me, an unintentionally laughable how-to guide as well.

The other day, I got a package from Vance & Hines.

Vance & Hines TRUE DUALS

As you can tell, these pipes can be assembled into a real motherfucker of a bong.

NO.

These pipes are an alternative to the stock Harley header on a 2010 FL; “true dual” refers to the direct head-to-muffler exhaust type that runs parallel down the bike’s fine, sweet lines.  In other words, the 2-into-1-into-2 stock header is, shall we say, no more.  I may have to urinate on it for causing me so much trouble.

I finally have the sound I always wanted within reach.  Turns out the “authentic v-twin sound” was true duals.  “Power” duals, such as 2:1:2, cause a better efficiency in the engine by blending exhaust gasses out of each cylinder but that’s why the sound isn’t right (in my ear).  Guys who go 2:1 have the best performance of all, but don’t suffer in the sound department the way 2:1:2 suffer; instead 2:1 just look like lopsided franekstein-made beasts.  How does the bike ride straight with one giant pipe on the side anyway? Call back that engineer, get him on the line – I have new curiousities!

So, truly, anyone who said “go buy a harley” when I modded my old jap cruiser, anyone who said “drill out the catalytic converter” on my 2010 FLHRC, and anyone that stood by shrugging when I said I didn’t want more noise, just better sound, all of them can kiss my ass.  The secret all along was in the header, which I foolishly ignored.  My formal after-action / post-mortem will go through the general principles I’ve uncovered and/or disproven, but for now …hang in there.

May this be a lesson to all regarding motorcycle maintenance.  Amen.  Err……… Zazen.

And here’s a soundcheck from last week, which I’m posting here mostly for the sake of proving that my newest muffler design is actually pretty good BUT ALSO to prove that free-flowing mufflers do not necessarily have to be loud.  In my quest for the perfect sound – that is, in this last year of tinkering with home-brew mufflers/baffles – I got damned close without violating ONE noise ordinance.  This video shows decibel readings of mid 80’s.  Technically, that’s twice as loud as flushing a toilet.  And I say she sounds good – she just needs a free-flow true dual header and she will absolutely sing.

Warning, this video is very sound-contaminated. Lots of wind.

And I had to cut out the part of the video where I say that if anyone likes the sound I was able to achieve on the stock header, I would give them my latest muffler recipe.  I cut that because I changed my mind.  I fucking worked – I mean literally worked – even if it was borderline illegal to scour and copy patents, and I read up and got out and talked to people and tested tested tested and failed failed failed and got pissed and had little victories and all in the privacy of my own garage and neighborhood.  I’ll never been an inventor but I’ve created something here and I like it.  So I don’t want to give it away.  If you really like it, and you see me on the road, you can buy me a bourbon and I will tell you what I did.  Buy me a bottle of bourbon and I’ll write it down for ya.  But I’m not selling it, I’m not patenting it, and I’m sure someone out there understands this cross-dimensional discipline well enough to get results and those are the people who should be profiting.  I just provide for my own.  And I’m really excited to test it on a true dual system.  Like I was saying, if it sounds this good on the stock header, on a 2:2 it should be singing me to sleep.

And there you have it.  I shall post back when the new header is installed and I’ll have vids to prove that 1) the “sound” finally is where it should be and 2) it’s not even illegal.

I really did dabble in engineering, thermodynamics, and acoustics, but I found no excuse to get into welding.  Maybe next time.

One last thing: just for shits, allow me to confess that prior to the V&H purchase (which I got from Dennis Kirk – I am thoroughly impressed enough by their customer service – again – I just have to mention it) I was in Lowe’s or Home Depot, returning about $60 of blackened iron and galvanized steel plumbing parts.  When I tell you folks you just don’t want to know what I was attempt these last weeks, you should just believe me.  And I got accused of terrorism like 3 times, but in a joking way.  Do we joke about that now? Stick out of our asses? Just checking.  Too many spare parts moves the honest joe from “tinkerer” to “terrorist” I guess.

My basement looked something like this: an infestation of pipes waiting to colonize my exhaust manifold.

Sorry for the long delay, but within 3 weeks I should be back to normal.

Hope everyone’s doing alright out there.  HEAT WAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Upcoming Project

Ok, so you caught me talking about the pipes.  I may have mentioned HYPOTHETICALLY that drilling out the cat was an idea SOMEONE had AT SOME TIME suggested that SOME OTHER SOMEONE might do to ENJOY THE SHIT out of their bike.

So…… WINK WINK, I may know who the latter someone is and he might have a blog.  A blog a lot like this one!

 

I realize only a few dozen people read this blog, but if you rat me out, I’ll find out.  You know I will. I’ll find you and I’ll smack the crap out of the spouse of the lawyer that makes you testify about what you read here on this blog.  That’s you! Or “that’s ME!” he would say as he reads this entry to the jury.  “Oh God, not my wife! She’s already got me wearing the horns because I spend all my time at the office!” … that lawyer might say.

SO!

I’m going to upload some videos, probably sunday, with all the work I do on saturday.  I’m raping the service manual and hoping to pin down all the little what-if’s (and I’m not bugging anyone on rec.mc or rec.mc.hd since they’ve had quite enough of my speculations and hypotheticals).

Sunday should be in the 60’s and sunny.  I won’t be able to lament not having those hand deflectors.

I’d like to give a proper nod to McGill’s Warehouse over in northern Cali.  Emailed them from across the land and asked a few specific, unusual things, and they were glad to accommodate me.  I love when that happens.

Anyone know a good scrap metal purchaser? One that deals in platinum? Hahaha… DIE, CAT! DIE!

And then I’ll be futzing with the baffles.  Technical proposal to come tomorrow if I can swing it.  You know me – it’s gonna be trial and error.

EFI Management (Part 2) (COUNTDOWN: 2 days!)

Spoke to the dealer this morning to ask about whether the SEST would be covered under warranty.  They’re checking on it.  I’m concerned that the stock stage II ECM download is inadequate and that I’ll be damaging the bike while I wait on a SEST or PCV or Mastertune or whatever.  It seems, based mostly on ng’s, that the SEST is the way to go.  The PCV might work better for some, but the SEST has no reports of failure or incompatibilities and I can tune the bike myself without the hassle and expense of dealing with another party.

So I might just get the SEST anyway, even if I have to tell the dealer to give me the horrible ecm d/l and pretend I’m not getting a SEST.  $150 down the drain, but a necessary evil since my planning wasn’t perfect (I should have had the SEST in my hand, rode off from the dealer, gone down the street, plugged in the SEST, and started tuning it immediately).

Meanwhile, I’m allowing myself to get excited.  I never, ever thought I would own a brand-new motorcycle.  Used is just so smart, you know? But this is all the bells and whistles – no 2010’s exist on the used market yet and all the 2009’s seem to be lacking ABS.  Those I found on ebay motors with ABS, in black, were all just a touch less than a new 2010.  Perhaps I should have bargained, but I’m also getting away with the purchase on financing.

I was going to put $6,000 down, but I might just put down $4000 if that’s acceptable.  I can suffer higher payments until I get my bonus / house rebate / etc and pay down the principal in a few months – having the extra cash on hand will help.  We’ll see.

Last night I was thinking about how the lack of perfect information, as economists call it, really allows for prices to go all over the place.

According to my internets, $1000 off MSRP is what you should shoot for – that’s average – especially if you’re paying at least that much in extras.  God, I think the last few posts I’ve made ALONE are evidence of that much, let alone the other posts that by now are quadruple that.  Oy.

But what about those really good deals?  Anyone getting more of a discount?  If you spend $5k in extras, do you think you can talk them down $2k off MSRP?  And how much is the service plan? Universal?  Is freight $500 everywhere?

If information becomes perfect, and everyone starts getting their bike for, say, $1k off MSRP, then the dealers will all suffer.  I’m not sure where the line is between going low to please customer_01, and not going low so that you aren’t cutting off your own balls when selling to customer_02.  It would have to be somewhere if we had perfect information.

I’m tempted to not report my deal so that no one goes into the dealership and demands the same deal – but on the other hand, I want to know (even if for no reason beyond my own second-guessing) whether others have done better.

I’ll probably list my out-the-door price somewhere in an entry…

Meanwhile. .. can I get some good weather? It’s supposed to rain this weekend. A-goddam-gain.

In other news, I got a quote from Progressive insurance for the 2010 FLHRC @ 1690cc.  With $500 comp/coll deductibles, it’s $503/yr for my home-owning NJ ass.  Not bad considering my 2001 Volusia (just 805cc) with my Union Square apartment address was the same price for a NY’er.  Plus the garage can’t hurt.

I discovered hand deflectors that look just right – already ordered them.  Will do a full review after I’ve gotten a taste of what improvement they offer.  Hoping they become my perfect cold-riding gear.

Incidentally, I got my brother a present for his Sportster (for his birthday next week).  Won’t say what it is, but I’ll probably play with it a little bit before I give it to him and I’ll post back with my thoughts if I remember. Mike, if you’ve found this blog, all I can say is I hope you liked it (no way you’ll discover this before I give you the gift, but just in case…still not saying what it is).